Mistress Abigail has been busy packing for the move to Her new house and hasn’t had time for me lately. She warned me that this would happen a while ago but it’s still depressing. Since we’re taking a short break, i’ve been thinking about things. i’ve been asking myself questions. For one thing why do i feel lost when i don’t hear from Mistress? I read other blogs and message boards and i see where some men think the idea of having a long distance Mistress is crazy. I guess that’s hard to explain. How can i have a meaningful relationship with someone that is miles and miles away? Why do i feel a real sense of longing when there’s no interaction for a few days?

i don’t even really know what Mistress looks like. Men are visual so that probably seems like the craziest thing of all. Well, we’ve all seen glimpses of Her wonderful feet and legs. There are those two unforgettable shots of Her beautiful ass and that strap on. And Her lips. Oh Her lips! But do i know what She looks like? No. Does it matter? Call me crazy but the answer is no. i’ve seen enough to know that She’s no troll and god knows i’d really love to see more but somehow it just doesn’t matter. Any of the other women on niteflirt would sell me pictures of themselves all day long. With Mistress Abigail the thought that i might some day get an email that lets me pay for pictures of Her naked body or face never occurs to me. i’d certainly never ask! It seems so disrespectful. It’s one of those cases where i’m more than happy for what i get.

Dealing with Mistress has opened me up to so many new things. Words are more important now. What She types in her emails, chats and blog are better than any picture i’ve seen somewhere else. Don’t get me wrong! i still look at porn because i’m a perverted pig. Mistress Abigail sometimes even makes me look at porn or pictures on the net. But She can take one picture and spin a story from it that i would never have imagined. An ordinary picture of a woman in lingerie eventually turns into an incredibly erotic picture of a woman in lingerie that is teasing me and laughing at me as i pull on my dick. Mistress says that soon i won’t be able to go anywhere or see anything without thinking that every woman i see is laughing at me. i think She’s right. That thought excites me and scares me at the same time.

i wish Mistress a safe and easy move to Her new house but i hope She’s back soon. She didn’t tell me i couldn’t cum until She comes back but i know She’d like it if i waited. i hope i can wait but it’s already getting uncomfortable. This will be a rough weekend.

i don’t talk to Mistress Abigail on the phone very often. When i filled out Her contact form i answered that i prefer email and chat. Sometimes it’s just impossible to talk to another woman on the phone when you’re married. Besides every time i do talk to Mistress i usually shoot my pathetic load very quickly. She found a way to stop that on our last call.

Sometimes i browse through all of the pages on niteflirt. Mistress knows i do this. She knows i can’t help but look at all the beautiful women. i have noticed a new trend and that is “ignore lines”. Personally i think that’s a little weird to call someone up and know ahead of time they’re going to ignore you. Then again who am i to say anything is weird? i have never talked to Mistress about ignoring me. It didn’t seem very interesting. Besides She ignores me enough online. i understand She has more interesting people to chat with but it is still embarrassing to know how much i bore Her.

Anyway the other day i had some privacy and begged Her to let me call. She made me grovel on my hands and knees with a butt plug in before She would take my call. i was so happy to hear Her wonderful voice and laugh. Then all of a sudden She told me that Her cell phone was vibrating and that i needed to hold on. i didn’t think anything of it at the time but She didn’t push the mute button and i could hear Her conversation. i don’t know who was calling but i guess they asked Mistress what She was doing. She laughed and said She had some boring loser on the other line!! i guess they asked if She needed to go because She laughed and said “no, he’ll hold on”. Oh my god!! i don’t even know who She was talking to but i was blushing sooooo hard!! i tried to listen to more but Mistress must have walked out of the room. Part of me hated paying to be on hold while She just talked to a friend but another part of me loved it. my tiny penis was so hard and i didn’t dare touch it. Finally Mistress Abigail came back on the line. She didn’t apologize for putting me on hold. She just said “so where were we?”. i asked Her who She was talking to about me and She just said Her other conversations are none of my business. Then She told me to tell Her what was on my mind. i started talking and talking about how turned on i was listening to Her other conversation. i started begging Her to please let me touch my dicklet. i heard Mistress typing on Her computer!!!  She was ignoring me again!! i didn’t know what to say!! Finally She said “I wasn’t paying attention. you’ll have to tell Me all of that again.”  i almost came right then without even touching my little dick.   It’s those little comments She makes that get to me. They sound so honest and i never think She’s just screwing with my mind to get me off. Sometimes i do think that afterwards when i go over it a thousand times.  

Needless to say i started talking again. i was stuttering alot because i was so humiliated and frustrated (and turned on!). Then She interrupted me and told me She couldn’t stand to listen anymore and point blank asked me if i was trying to say i wanted to cum. i was so ashamed when i said yes. Mistress Abigail told me to just shut up and get it over with. Then She hung up on me!!!! After five strokes i was shooting cum everywhere. It felt so good especially knowing that She was either laughing at me or doing something more interesting.

i don’t think it would ever be exciting to call one of those ignore lines knowing for sure that the woman at the other end would ignore me. When Mistress Abigail ignored me it was a total surprise. i felt so many things including shock, frustration and deep humiliation. i don’t know if She’ll do it again and i don’t know if it would have the same effect. But i do look forward to everything She comes up with and i thank Her from the bottom of my heart for putting up with me.

Mistress Abigail has ordered me to buy some embarrassing stuff before. Once i had to go to the women’s department at sears and find the ugliest pair of granny panties that i could. Mistress told me to hold them up like i was seeing if they were my size and make sure at least one woman saw me. Then i had to walk up to the counter and pay for them! The lady at the counter was the one that saw me and i just know she was trying so hard not to laugh! my face was beet red! i told Mistress all about it when i got home and mentioned that i hoped the pretty lady couldn’t tell that my cock was hard. Mistress told me that there was no way anyone could tell when i’m hard and that it has to be at least 7″ long before it can be called a cock.

Another time i had to go to the drugstore and take 10 packages of vagisil to the pharmacy counter and ask them if that stuff would help with anal itching. Oh my god!! That was so humiliating! The girl at the counter (very pretty by the way) told me that vagisil is for women and recommended something else. i told her that i would buy the vagisil anyway and she was grinning as she rung all ten of them up! When i got home i had to email a picture of the pile of “pussy cream” to Mistress. She said She laughed so hard that She almost peed Herself. i’m blushing again just thinking about it!! She was going to make me take 9 of them back and say i wanted a refund because it didn’t help my anal itching (which i DON’T have in the first place) but i think She forgot.

Instead this week Mistress Abigail told me to go to the dirty bookstore and buy a porno. i was very excited about that until she told me what to buy…  i had to buy a video with only men in it. Something with big black cocks and little white guys. i wish those boxes didn’t have pictures on the front. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the store only had men in it but there were women too! Most of the people there were couples and here’s me walking up to the counter by myself to buy gay porn. i was happy that was over when i got home until Mistress told me i had to watch it too. She made me turn my webcam on so that She could see the video was on. Without any warning She told me to turn the cam on myself and show my little dick. Oh god…  it was hard. i don’t get turned on by men!! Mistress told me that i had to cum for her. That i had to jerk off while watching men fuck. Huge cocks that are so much bigger than my little willy. She made me call Her so She could hear me “panting like a dog” and cumming to men fucking. Once i heard Her lovely voice i came so fast. She said we will save the rest of the movie for next time. 

i promised to write more about my first chat with Mistress Abigail and here it is. i apologize for the delay. i was out of town on business. i would love to just copy the chat here but Mistress says i am not allowed to quote Her words without permission. It all started when I begged Her to let me buy her yahoo id. She laughed and said that if it wasn’t available for any old pervert to buy, it would not be on Her website. Then She sent another pay email for $120. i was scared to pay it since i had no clue what was inside. Of course i eventually did. i am pathetic and have no self control. Inside was Her yahoo id and the extra $20 was for sending it special delivery instead of me just clicking the link on Her site. Mistress also wrote something about how it’s obvious She must have a special needs person on her hands since i can’t even follow basic directions. i just wanted to be forced to buy Her id and instead She was laughing at me and how stupid i am. It was so embarrassing! my tiny penis was hard as can be! i immediately added Her to my yahoo buddy list but didn’t dare message Her when i saw that Her status was “busy”.

i waited for another half hour. i couldn’t touch my little dick because if i did i know i would shoot all over the place. i also knew Mistress would not like that and i wanted to really please Her the first time we chatted. Finally Her status changed and it still took me a few minutes to get up the courage to send Her that first message. i said hello and She laughed. i almost came right then! We talked about all of those first emails i paid to read and how i was too ashamed to write back. Mistress mentioned all of the icky orgasms i had wasted because cumming without Her permission is always a waste. i told Her again about how small my dicklet is and She insisted i send a picture of it right then and there! i was so hard when i took the pic. i was so embarrassed after i sent it. i must have blushed for at least five minutes waiting for Her response… thinking about how She must be laughing at me. Mistress finally starting typing again and asked if it got any bigger when it was hard!!! i thought it was obvious that i was very hard for Her!!! my weewee was sticking straight out! It was so difficult to type that fact to Her. After She finished laughing, Mistress started asking questions about my penis. It was almost like a medical examination. Questions about my sexual history, masturbation and ejaculation habits, when did i realize my penis was way too small to please a woman and so much more. Then Mistress Abigail found out i was married. Oh my god. She made me go online and buy a present for my long suffering wife right then! She quizzed me about my wife’s tastes and chose an expensive necklace for me to buy. I also had to pay for express shipping. After that i just had to beg for an orgasm because it was just too much! Mistress told me to start rubbing my wannabe-dick and tell Her how long it took to finally shoot my pitiful load. 10 seconds!! i tried to explain that i’d been so turned on for so long, but she could tell that the truth is i’m a premature ejaculator. i’m blushing so hard just from typing that!!

Since Mistress Abigail felt even worse for my wonderful wife’s long time suffering… tiny dick and minute man… i had to do one other thing before giving my wife the gift. After it arrived, i had to write out a note to include with the necklace. i had to acknowledge the sacrifices in the sexual department my wife has had to make over the years and promise to make it up to her in any way i could. When i gave it to her, she gave me a weird look and thank me. All i could think about was the last thing Mistress told me when i wrote the note… She said that my wife is most likely having sex with other men. Men with normal size cocks. i told her i didn’t think so because my wife has never really been interested in sex. Mistress Abigail just laughed and laughed and laughed…

i hope She likes this entry and lets me cum again soon.