First let me say that I have used for some time now a perfectly legal pharmaceutical that allows one to stay awake and alert far longer than is normally possible. However, typically I have never used that to do more than pull an all nighter for work, so I can go in the next day […]
I’m feeling a bit weary and dull-headed as I write this but I’m in the middle of an insane weekend with Abigail. It’s indulging my appetite for extraordinary levels of extended sexual arousal grounded in bad behavior. And though I know all that - the generality about myself I am learning new specifics. Such as […]
For reasons of perversion and dark need I have to wank for five hours today minimum, flush my ass out, and can’t eat after 8pm without permission. Oh and be naked in the house. Oh and wear a collar at all times. And have a cockring and cuffs available too. And tonight there will a […]
It’s been about a month now since I last came. Neither I nor Abigail are sure of the exact date but it was most likely sometime in the beginning of February. It started without any negotiation it was more that I happened not have cum for a few days and she suggested extending it.
I’ve always […]
At most I slept for three hours. I awoke painfully hard. The delicious torture of cialis is that you can feel asexual and yet sport an iron hard erection which coaxes you like an evil spirit to take up once again your lubricant and begin to stroke. And so I did.
I do not know that […]
Golden Rules
1.Abigail’s requirements take precedence over all other life requirements
2.The requirements of your employment which finances your relationship with Abigail are next
3.Everything else – family, friends etc. - come after Abigail, and after your work.
Behavioural Rules
Complex Truth About You #1:
Your relationship to Sexual Arousal is that of a Degenerate Drug Addict
In your past your compulsion […]
I just paid November’s monthly fee for $250. The fact that I paid it without much reflection is on my mind. I don’t have the money. It’s more debt. It makes no sense. I should walk away. But I don’t. It’s an illness. I don’t know why I keep walking down this path.
And last night […]
I woke up this morning feeling unspeakably horny, on my side slightly face down grinding. After several days of limited desire suddenly I was drowning in it. And today I hated it. I really wanted it to go away. I didn’t have anything urgent to do today. I’d returned to a home alone so could […]
Abigail’s present to me was to give me free reign to masturbate during an entire weekend and to be allowed to cum when I felt like it.
Me being me ended up not coming because I love/hate the idea of love/hating the fact that I wanted so badly to cum and yet wanted more, I suppose, […]
I don’t know if this weekend the relationship moved somewhat to a different place or it was just a long weekend vacation for a pervert. Either way it was extremely intense.
I’m speculating as to what happened in the immediate lead up to this but perhaps I got very horny on Friday and it showed in […]
Tonight a heated sexual exchange of ideas lead to a request from Abigail for a list of all the ‘dildos’ that I possesed. I recalled having a couple but then when I opened the boxes in which they are carefully stashed I was appalled or pleased or stunned to find that I had, well, a […]
The following came out of my head as I was stroking today in compliance with the Empty House guideline (see Guidelines tab):
700pm
Came home to empty house. logged on. stroking. in kitchen. no lube. hard anyway.
703pm
no way to avoid stroking cos 3day weekend .. nothing that needs to be done tonight cos can be done tomorrow […]
The urge to stroke is consuming me. I want to talk to Abigail so I can stroke. I want to return to a home alone so I can stroke. I want to be allowed to stay up all night so I can stroke. I’d love to be required to stroke in the morning if only […]
Came home to an empty house. Masturbated for 2 and half hours …
Lots of very nasty thoughts during session. Some highlights were :
* have to cut monthly budget 40%. - nothing beyond a regular coffee for me at any coffee shop. No convenience foods. Make lots of one thing and eat it for several nights.
* […]
More fire drills to handle at work, but handling them for I am charged with being a good worker by Abigail. I think I’m doing that. Argentina play Germany kicking off at 8am .. should be a greeeat game but unfortunately I will only be able to see the first 30 minutes.
Bad thought fragment: I […]
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