I’ve been away from posting for a while. But not from Abigail. I am addicted to sexual arousal. And as Abigail arouses me so I am, by association, addicted to my relationship with Abigail, and by association addicted to Abigail. And within the relationship the exploration of alcohol, sleep deprivation and other forms of losing […]
I’m a walking talking d/s cliche. White, forties, successful (if a little uneasy about the success) at work, well respected, well paid, but hopelessly messed up internally due to an addiction to sexual arousal that mirrors in it’s irrationality, intensity and incessant gotta-do-it / gotta-stop-it cycles, an untreated addiction to heroine.
I want to be healed. […]
First let me say that I have used for some time now a perfectly legal pharmaceutical that allows one to stay awake and alert far longer than is normally possible. However, typically I have never used that to do more than pull an all nighter for work, so I can go in the next day […]
I’m feeling a bit weary and dull-headed as I write this but I’m in the middle of an insane weekend with Abigail. It’s indulging my appetite for extraordinary levels of extended sexual arousal grounded in bad behavior. And though I know all that - the generality about myself I am learning new specifics. Such as […]
I’ve been quiet lately and there are reasons for this that are too dull to be worthy of description here but it has made me realize the extent to which Abigail dominates my life - not just in the literal kink way but to the extent that absent her I don’t have an extensive series […]
Abigail often has these passing fetishy interests and I had expected the ‘forced intoxication’ play to grow old for her and that it would already be behind us. But it hasn’t. If anything it’s escalating. I’m not turned on by intoxication per se, but I am turned on by bad behavior, by things that […]
It’s been about a month now since I last came. Neither I nor Abigail are sure of the exact date but it was most likely sometime in the beginning of February. It started without any negotiation it was more that I happened not have cum for a few days and she suggested extending it.
I’ve always […]
At most I slept for three hours. I awoke painfully hard. The delicious torture of cialis is that you can feel asexual and yet sport an iron hard erection which coaxes you like an evil spirit to take up once again your lubricant and begin to stroke. And so I did.
I do not know that […]
Golden Rules
1.Abigail’s requirements take precedence over all other life requirements
2.The requirements of your employment which finances your relationship with Abigail are next
3.Everything else – family, friends etc. - come after Abigail, and after your work.
Behavioural Rules
Complex Truth About You #1:
Your relationship to Sexual Arousal is that of a Degenerate Drug Addict
In your past your compulsion […]
Abigail’s present to me was to give me free reign to masturbate during an entire weekend and to be allowed to cum when I felt like it.
Me being me ended up not coming because I love/hate the idea of love/hating the fact that I wanted so badly to cum and yet wanted more, I suppose, […]
On my birthday which occured during the last six weeks sometime, I sent $100 to Abigail. Why?
Simple:
1) Because it makes no sense
2) Because it’s financially of dubious sanity
3) Because it’s the opposite of what the normal world would expect.
4) Because it pleases, and rumor has it, arouses, Abigail
5) Because it turns me on to do […]
Mistress X retired and I searched for someone of her caliber to see instead. I found Mistress Y.
Mistress Y, like X, is physically stunning, is very intelligent, very experienced, and is a specialist in seductive sensual domination. And her play space was similarly sumptuous, comfortable and fitted out with intimidating and exciting devices and equipment.
The […]
This recollection is of an event that is at least a decade back in the past, so I’m not going to claim it’s entirely reliable or trustworthy as a verbal documentary. What it is, however, is an accurate outpouring of the version of events that currently resides in the horrid dark chambers of my memory.
[Note: […]
This was back in the late nineties. I had an adventurous sex-life with my girlfriend of the time and we’d been getting into some borderline kinky activities with me, for instance, cuffing her wrists together, spanking her etc etc. And eventually we flipped the roles a couple of times and it was like a bomb […]
I don’t know if this weekend the relationship moved somewhat to a different place or it was just a long weekend vacation for a pervert. Either way it was extremely intense.
I’m speculating as to what happened in the immediate lead up to this but perhaps I got very horny on Friday and it showed in […]
Tonight a heated sexual exchange of ideas lead to a request from Abigail for a list of all the ‘dildos’ that I possesed. I recalled having a couple but then when I opened the boxes in which they are carefully stashed I was appalled or pleased or stunned to find that I had, well, a […]
Recently I fell asleep while chatting online with Abigail. She had been in a very playful sexy mood and I fell asleep. As you might imagine this didn’t go over too well. It’s probably unrelated but the next day she sent me an email payment request for $250. I paid it.
Then later that evening she […]
It’s vaguely disturbing to report that warming and cuddling Lex, the large black rubber cock, has already become normal.
When I go to clean my teeth I turn on the faucet on the second sink and let it run, and as I’m brushing I dip my fingers into the stream to see if it’s hot. When […]
How long have I known Abigail .. well in a long existing yahoo account I have emails that go back to May 4, 2004.
It must be earlyish because I’m using the eccentric nom de plume of “David”.
Here is the very earliest one i have from May 4, 2004.
Abigail,
Well here we go:
I love hunting for erotica/dirty […]
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