First let me say that I have used for some time now a perfectly legal pharmaceutical that allows one to stay awake and alert far longer than is normally possible. However, typically I have never used that to do more than pull an all nighter for work, so I can go in the next day functioning at a normal to high level even though I have not slept.
And even in my more perverse moments the longest I have ever managed to stay awake is 72 hours. So this past weekend staying awake from 5:22am on Thursday morning through past 9:22am on Monday morning (the 100 hour mark) and on into that evening was a surprise and a shock to me. Abigail and myself have gone over all of the conversational logs for that period and can’t find a moment when I wasn’t babbling on about some sexual perversion or fantasy or predicament or other that is longer than maybe an hour. The reason we did this is that when you’re very sleep deprived your short term memory gets worse and worse and it becomes very easy indeed to forget what you are or have been doing, so I was worried I’d slept for a significant time but had no memory of doing so. Having found no evidence of that I frankly don’t know how I did it other than perhaps the extraordinary level of motivation I normally feel while interacting with Abigail - especially with regard to pushing limits, be they physical or mental.
With me sleep deprivation is a sexual fetish. The more sleep deprived I become the more sexual I become but this is accompanied by what I would call a softening of the mind. I become less clear on what I should and should not do. My sense of right and wrong becomes more blurred and when you combine that with, say, a raging hard-on and rather messy inner sexual life it can get pretty crazy. And that’s what led to the rather crazy, let us say, penetrative behavior of the weekend.
If you’re curious about exactly what a huge dildo looks like. Go find an online store that carries the Lexington Steele cock. That’s what has spent time in my ass and my throat. Before you get any ideas that I’ve lost my mind in a very bad way, assplay is condom protected and throatplay is with the condom removed and Lex well washed and dried. Maybe it would have been hotter if I’d left out that rather parental guidance sounding footnote. And such crazy assplay does have as a prerequisite a rather clean ass. But that’s not sexy at all so I’ll say no more. Well it kind of is, but … well another day perhaps.
The thing that is most intoxicating sexually about that period looking back on in it is how it aligns with this evolving sense of me assuming the role of something somewhat less than human. Especially compared with Abigail. A subhuman would perhaps not sleep, would perhaps be controlled by drugs, have a very defined role, have a very dependant relationship with a full human, would exist to gratify the full human, and not necessarily sexually, an object of amusement at times … or something like that. Maybe.
We may do it again sometime. But as a subhuman that’s really not up to me.
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