Abigail’s Pet Project

I woke up this morning feeling unspeakably horny, on my side slightly face down grinding. After several days of limited desire suddenly I was drowning in it. And today I hated it.  I really wanted it to go away. I didn’t have anything urgent to do today. I’d returned to a home alone so could stroke all I wanted but I couldn’t cum and today I desperately wanted to. So I stalked about the house trying to focus on something on anything. Tidy this up. Tidy that up. Distraction. Images. Trying to do work on the computer. No good. Up and pace around up and pace around. Actually getting so tense and overwrought I started to feel sick. Then Abigail was online and I couldn’t talk to her about this I felt completely paralyzed I tried to make chit chat but the confusion and burgeoning self disgust and more confusion got to the point where I just had to excuse myself and lay down. I lay down in the dark breathing hard until the knots started to slacked in my neck and back and all I had were simple dirty thoughts of hot women etc etc and I went back down and spoke again with Abigail and did unburden myself somewhat and as she asked “Well, why didn’t you just ask if you could come?” . And of course the answer is both I don’t know and I know very well. Because part of my sickness is the part of me that loves my sickness, that loves how miserable and out of control I get the loves the idea of Abigail loving it and it’s a small part of me but dense and powerful and not something to be messed with once it’s roused. But Abigail saying that made me smile and the radiant relief I felt in my face as I smiled made me realize that I hadn’t done much of that so far today. So shortly I will cum and hopefully the world will make sense again and I will get some simple things done and stave of the shame and self disgust for one more day.

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