Abigail’s Pet Project

The following came out of my head as I was stroking today in compliance with the Empty House guideline (see Guidelines tab):

700pm
Came home to empty house. logged on. stroking. in kitchen. no lube. hard anyway.

703pm

no way to avoid stroking cos 3day weekend .. nothing that needs to be done tonight cos can be done tomorrow or sunday or monday

even eating .not necessary. the only consequence is getting hungry and that’s not a big deal

the less you eat the longer the money lasts so it’s important to take care with eating

I ran into my ex. I was horny. I behaved myself but I dwawdled cos she had no bra again. I think her boyfriend is continuing her descent into whoredom. that gets to me. it makes me jealous when I’m horny. I excused myself before I broke the guideline and came into contact with her.

vvhorny.

not horny all time. that’s for porn stories. but horny a lot of the time. more time than ever. but not all the time. have sexual buzz all the time. that doesn’t leave.

thoughts of masturbation occupy huge portion of the time my brain is not engaged in work

i think it’s making me feel less human. more animal or robotic. petlike?

feeling of being .. hm.. subservient to my cock.. every other part of my body exists to serve the needs needs of my cock

primary purpose of my brain is to think dirty thoughts to stimulate and arouse my cock

no work meetings today came home from getting gasoline to an empty house. had to stroke .. two hours without visual stimulation just my brain

thinking of Abigail in the corner seated reading not even knowingly smiling at me from time to time, just behaving as if I was not there , pumping my hips through my fist ..

talking on the phone arranging to go out

with guys

to fuck

we’re married but it’s only a financial necessity for her, to gain my assets then quickly divorce….

again the image of her reversed riding me buying online as she does so.. thick cock in my throat

then image of being fed that way.. tube inside the massive dildo that’s in my throat, saliva running down my chin,
Abigail pouring food, drink, drugs whatever into my stomach, smiling and sofly encouraging me to be good tonight while she’s out. her date has kindly arranged for several big cocked muscular African Americans to drop by to keep my occupied. she says since I’ve been so good lately I can do whatever I like with them but she would be disappointed if I could speak tomorrow, and she’ll be really pleased with me if my throat is so raw and swollen I have difficulty breathing. ’so be good’ and she gets up .. I’m tied naked to the chair, cock feeding tube still in my throat … without comment she places a funnel into the end of the tube and pours in some tequila then leaves it open on the table gently kisses me and leaves ….
718pm

mm . been thinking about . .. empty house is a stroke house.. as mod to guidelines. . have to do all essential tasks .. but once they are done must return to empty house to stroke .. the sense of compulsion… the panic… the nastiness… of it… anything to do with my health, my job must be done.. any other ‘needs’ must be taken care of .. but then .. just stroke…

i know I won’t have anyone in house till 10am Sunday .. imagining the sick slick twisted feeling inside… maybe people think of the freedom that gives me but inside .. it just feels like a deepening enslavement to Abigail to my cock …

and what need of sleep would i have… tonight.. soft voice inquiring .. no money related activities to do tomorrow …

and the beginning again of the nastinessss.

throat fucking … obssessive spit gagging … plugging… reinforcing sense of alienation from ‘normal’ people .. descending .. away from human ….

feeding of porn addiction.

joining of sites

purchasing of dvd’s

most money to Abigail, them to porn then to food and other essentials…

detailed reporting of spending

besides .. gasoline, bridge tolls, and the once per week food shop .. rule of thumb is ‘there will be no purchases. assume any request to purchase will be denied’

life priorities

1 - Abigail

2- My Job

3 - My cock / pornography /strokage

4- My family

5 - My friends

6 - everything else

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